Sandwich Included

(RAWR: Retail Adventures in WRiting. Because acronyms.)

It’s moments like these that make the pain of working in retail all worth it - meeting new and wonderful people and being able to be a part of their lives for just a short while (and maybe even make their day a little bit better for it). 

A woman in a wheelchair came in and asked to see the cards that we have hanging on a rope above one of the displays. She spoke in English, so I spoke English back (obviously) and handed her the type of cards she specified she was looking for. After she had decided on the one she wanted, she got a long phone call, so I waited for her to finish. She spoke in Italian and, after hanging up, explained that it had been her family calling, and you don’t just not answer the phone when it’s your Italian family calling. She then told me how she is a member of a group of volunteers who are in Estonia in order to spread awareness about disability and disabled people and contribute to normalizing their presence and existence in society. She also thanked me for my good English because, apparently, not all customer service people in this country know enough English to even know whether or not someone wants to buy something. It made me embarrassed for Estonian customer service and glad that I had been able to give her a different experience. 

On the way out she said goodbye in Estonian. 

She was so pleasant and adorable and awesome, and I would have wanted to know more about her volunteer group and what they do, but unfortunately she was in a hurry. Still - my day just got a million times better. 

See what I did there? I made an acronym. I’m so clever. *pats self on back* 

More to the point, however, I wanted to write about something and since I’m at work right now (and bored as hell), I might as well write about that. 

I currently work at a store that sells silly gifts and clocks and photo frames and accessories and so forth. Not a particularly glamorous job, but at least I get a monthly paycheck out of it. The whole reason I started looking for work was to be less of a financial leech on my mother’s back - so far so good. 

The thing I like most about working here is the store itself - the way it looks and the articles on sale are wonderful. Most of the stuff here is funny, silly, light-hearted. They’re all things that nobody really needs but that could make someone’s day/week/month/year a lot brighter. We have inflatable punching bags, glasses shaped like beer bottles, phones shaped like pink glossy lips, calculators that look like chocolate bars and pianos, ice cube trays with different shapes such as coffee beans, vampire teeth, brains, etc. You get the point. It’s a place full of fun things. I like being surrounded by these silly items and I love watching people discover and react to them. 

What I absolutely do not like about this store is how quiet most of my workdays are. Since it’s a store that specializes mostly in unnecessary (and, to be fair, overpriced) trinkets, it doesn’t see a lot of transactions for the better part of the week. The only days with any revenue worth noting are Friday and Saturday, and sometimes Thursday and/or Sunday. The rest of the week, I spend most of the time just sitting behind the counter and desperately trying to come up with ways to pass the time or cleaning (all of the shelves here are glass, so there’s always something to wipe or dust). 

It can get pretty old pretty quickly. 

Honestly, I’m not sure how much longer I’m going to stay here, because the work overall is boring more often than not. Compared to my experiences working in Disneyland a few years back this place is incredibly dull. Then again, what wouldn’t seem dull next to freaking Disneyland? 

The neighbors from hell - every building has at least one. Unfortunately we happen to live right underneath ours. 

Not only do they enjoy listening to music on full blast during the day (and I mean the whole day), they also do it at night. Until 5 fucking a.m. Sometimes I wonder if they ever sleep. Or work. Or do anything besides getting hammered every other night. 

Well, a few days (or nights) ago, I couldn’t sleep yet again because they were blasting Gotye right on top of mom’s bedroom so loud that even I heard it, even though my room is practically at the other end of the apartment. Not that I don’t like Gotye, but at 3:30 a.m. there are so many other things I’d rather do than groove to the beat of Somebody That I Used To Know, like sleep. So I went over to mom’s room and knocked on the ceiling with a broom handle. They turned the music down for a moment but then apparently changed their minds and turned it back up. I knocked again. This time they just started jumping and stamping around. Fuckers. That went on until about 5 a.m. 

The next night, at around 1 a.m., when we just couldn’t take any more, mom and I went upstairs, turned off their power and waited for them to show up at the door. And boy, did they ever show up. With an axe. 

After a heated discussion on whether or not their music was too loud (their main argument was that even their kid could sleep with the noise - I feel bad for that child) and two threats on their part to attack us (with the aforementioned axe, then with a gun), we finally just told them that the next time they’re too loud we’re calling the police and writing a statement, and we’ll do it every day if we have to, and they’ll drown in fines, and then left. 

It’s been pretty quiet for two nights now. 

Fucking fuckers. I would like to get along with them (honestly!), but if they can’t grasp the fact that coexisting with others means compromise and effort from both sides, then I don’t think I’m obligated to feel any kind of sympathy towards them. We’ve tried talking to them before, but most of the time they don’t even answer the door. We’ve tried to do this without threats and without involving the police. All they’ve done is tell us to get ear plugs and promise to come to our door with an axe the next time we have a problem with their noise. 

So no - the next time I have to call the police on them I won’t feel an ounce of remorse. 

(Ma igaks juhuks mainin, et ma olin järgnevat kirjutades kergelt raevunud.)

TÄHELEPANU. JÄRGNEV ON KÕIGILE, KELLEL PEAKS MINGIL KUMMALISEL PÕHJUSEL OLEMA VAJADUS KUULDA ABSOLUUTSELT IGA VIIMAST KUI PÕHJENDUST, MIS MUL OMA VALIKUTE TEGEMISEKS NENDE ARVATES PEAKS OLEMA. Selle postituse eesmärk on üks kord ja lõplikult saada kaelast ära need kuradima küsimused, mis on alati ühed ja samad ja millele ma pean peaaegu iga päev vastama. Nii et lugege see lollakas postitus läbi JA ÄRGE KÜSIGE ENAM NEID LOLLAKAID KÜSIMUSI. 

Miks sa see kevad ei lõpeta? 

Sest juhtus nii. Ma ei saanud andmeid, suhtlemine juhendajaga jättis erinevatel põhjustel soovida, olin ise natuke laisk. Samas mõjutas olukorda ka teatud hulk teisi tegureid, mis pole absoluutselt mitte kellegi asi peale minu. 

Kuidas siis nii, et sa ei lõpeta see kevad? Kas su juhendaja siis ei aidanud sind? 

… 

Aga see on ju juhendaja süü tegelikult. 

Ei ole juhendaja süü. Ei ole otseselt kellegi süü. Lihtsalt liiga palju õnnetuid asjaolusid sattus korraga kokku. 

Aga miks sulle siis andmeid ei antud? 

Kust mina tean. Võib-olla neil oli liiga kiire, et leida kolme kuu jooksul see aeg, et vastata viiele küsimusele, mille ma neile saatsin ja mille kohta korduvalt meeldetuletusi tegin. 

Aga nüüd sa ei saagi magistrisse minna sügisel? 

Ma olen juba vähemalt aasta otsa rääkinud kõigile, kellega see vähimalgi määral jutuks on tulnud, et ma ei lähe NAGUNII kohe magistrisse edasi, vaid võtan aasta vabaks ja mõtlen, mida ma tahan edasi teha. 

Aga pärast seda aastat? Lähed magistrisse? 

Ma ei tea. Selleks ma ju aasta vabaks võtangi, et välja mõelda, mida edasi teha! 

Aga sa saaksid ju praeguse kraadiga minna magistrisse küll? Sul ju valikuid palju? Keskkonnakaitse on ju kuum teema? 

Aga võib-olla mind ei huvita enam keskkonnakaitse? Võib-olla ma tunnen, et minu senised õpingud ei ole ming magistriõppeks piisavalt hästi ette valmistanud? 

Kuidas sulle siis keskkonnakaitse enam ei meeldi? 

Tra noh. Kas ma olen ainuke inimene maailmas, kelle eelistused mingite valdkondade/esemete/toiduainete/mille iganes suhtes aja jooksul muutuma kipuvad? Kui ei, siis miks on sellest nii raske aru saada? 

Aga kas sul on mingeid mõtteid siis üldse? 

Võib-olla teen endale uue baka - mingil sellisel alal, kust saan ka praktilisi oskusi ja mingi aluse edasiseks arenguks. Ja mis mind päriselt huvitab, mitte selline, mille ma valisin lihtsalt sellepärast, et sain sinna tasuta sisse ja see andis hea vabanduse Tartusse kolimiseks. 

Ah, see teine baka ei anna ju mitte midagi. Mis sa ikka nendest kraadidest taga ajad. Mine parem magistrisse, magistrikraad ju annab palju rohkem kui kaks bakat! 

… 

A kas sa siis praegusel erialal ei saa tööd? 

Jah, ma saan hakata ministeeriumis pabereid määrima. NII PÕNEV. 

Nii. Palun. Te olete nüüd informeeritud. Nende teemade edasiarenduste osas võib minuga suhelda, aga palun jätke need konkreetsed küsimused nüüdsest küsimata. Mul on oma valikute õigustamisest KOPP EES. 

I had a migraine but then I took painkillers and then it was gone but then I ate some chocolate and now it’s back again but I can’t take any more pills for another two hours or my liver will turn into a zombie and pain pain pain whine whine whine. :( 

Ever been to a store, lost yourself in the midst of your own thoughts and then suddenly found yourself rearranging the products - putting the same color pens together, straightening a bottle, picking up a dropped box, putting books back where they alphabetically belong? 

Ever found yourself stuck deep in your own skull during a long bus ride, the only link between you and reality being the differences you notice in the pattern on the fabric that covers the seats? 

Ever found beauty in an angle that is just wrong enough to look right or a series of symmetrically distributed trash bins? 

I have. I do. ALL THE TIME.

Gosh, this sounds so pretentious. 

P.S. I do actually have a huge thing for symmetry and patterns and stuff. Anyone else out there like me obsessed with patterns? (Incomplete sentence is incomplete, haha.)